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- --- I wish I had a "my people" even online. ---
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- Anonymous Counsellor (2025-11-12 17:11 ID:HlB/IYw4 )
- Once again I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, facing a choice of least bad of two or more horrible options. I dont want to stay medically dependent and caught in the government gibs quicksand, I want to be a grown man and adult, not just surviving but being alive and thriving for the first time then die having lived exceptionally. Is this all there is to life? Do I have a purpose? Can I ever even take one step towards any of my many dreams without a trillion traps of my bodily health and mental health and being so different I cannot relate to anyone around me as if I were born on the wrong planet? Is there such a thing as a "my people" anywhere on Earth? Must I choose to somehow live in total isolation and die alone and unloved because there is nowhere but nature and wildlife I fit in, no place for me among other humans? Must I die to this world and prepare for naught but the afterlife as did Saint Seraphim Rose, and for the same many reasons? Is there anywhere in this world I can call home, where my many physical and mental limitations, and social disabilities, aren't holding me back? Anywhere I won't have to fearfully lie lie lie to get anywhere in a social hierarchy, where I am free to fail, and won't be severely punished for standing tall and loud and announcing "I AM ME!! HERE I STAND!!" Is such a place in material existence I can jus be myalef without being scolded "no, not like that"? Not even anywhere online can I be true to myself and true to my own? What the devil is the point of going through all the trouble of survival, when it's a drag? \n\n
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- Anonymous Counsellor (2025-11-14 18:14 ID:PWuvKM8H )
- Monastery? \n\n
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- Anonymous Counsellor (2025-11-18 14:23 ID:jYF/AIjU )
- i feel the same way, i have occasionally had glimpses of people and groups who i feel i belong with and are "my people", but it doesn't really last that long before i either fail to gain acceptance in this group or if i do i sour on the idea of them being my "tribe" or people (without falling out with them). as for online, i did have a "my people" for a small amount of time, i won't go into details but it was an very unique community on a mainstream site that hardly ever talked about it's stated purpose. unfortunately it didn't survive the insanity of the early 2020s and anything unique about it was excised by a group of people thinking that meaningless culture war shit was life or death (this was a community of... around 100 people at most!). i imagine quite a few smaller unique communities got homogenized in the same way. \n\n i've often thought about starting an online community or (more preferably) a magazine type thing to try and cultivate a community or even a subculture of people who share a few core values with me, but the issue is figuring out what those values should be, how to attract people (if there are any!) who are like me, how much those values will change with people and how to stop the whole thing becoming hijacked or homogenized like the online community i mentioned are issues i can't really figure out how to deal with and that's not even mentioning making the thing exist let alone make it successful. \n\n another issue is that sometimes, despite how much i desire a subculture or "tribe" to belong to, is that it might just not exist. the majority of friends me and i would reckon most people make are more just creations of circumstance rather than some alignment of values or attitudes. this isn't to say that all friends are "fake" or that there aren't friendships i've enjoyed, but rather that there isn't some deeper sense of belonging or a shared way of life. sometimes i feel like it's just something you have to accept in this world and finding your "tribe" is unobtainable. \n\n
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